21 Adar 5772
The attacks on Israel have not stopped. I have spent significant amounts of time speaking with affected people, doing what I can to help them to calm down, to cope, and to cry as necessary.
Tears, trembling and sadness have their place in promoting mental/emotional health. As trauma therapist Miriam Maslin teaches, "Wisdom often means letting go of what was in order to make room for what needs to be."
A person who has been traumatized needs the freedom to express their sorrow, their fears, their sense of betrayal, their grief, their loss and everything else on their mind and heavy heart. That helps them to let go of the trauma, to some degree, then to get beyond it to a measure of peace and increasing productivity.
It is a cruelty to tell someone "Stop shaking like that," or to "Stop crying! Get over it already."
Trembling and crying serve some coping purposes:
1) To alert observers to a perceived trauma so that they can provide needed compassion and assistance. YOUR "it's not a trauma" interpretation of someone else's trauma is not necessarily relevant to the sufferer. In that person's mind and heavy heart, something terrible has happened.
2) To quite literally help the suffering person to release their fear, shock, and other negative reactions, so that they can return to a relatively calm state again.
Trembling and tears are specific signs of emotional turmoil. The person trembling and/or crying needs compassion, not dismissive remarks and behaviors.
There is significant psychological evidence of the above. It is presented in case studies and other materials within the mental health world.
There is also significant evidence that people who can envision themselves overcoming problems do overcome those issues.
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