Happiness-Producing Questions

B'SD


10 Av 5771

Well, we're past the 9th of Av and you've read headlines, caugh up on family and friend stuff, now it's time to breathe, relax and relent.


My thanks to Shmuel Greenbaum and his “Kind Words” listserv. Today’s topic is Happiness-Producing Questions from Zelig Pliskin (one of the happiest people I know!) from an earlier edition of the newsletter.


Kind Words - Happiness-Producing Questions



Wednesday, August 3, 2011




KIND WORDS




Directions to Live By
The author wishes to remain anonymous
Edited by Shmuel Greenbaum
Printed with Permission of Partners in Kindness




I was standing on the street trying to figure out which direction was the one that would get me where I wanted to go. A stranger walked by and I asked her directions.


What could a stranger possibly say to me within the span of seconds that could make me smile weeks later?


After telling me where to go, she apologized for not coming by sooner so I wouldn't have had to wait for her to come by.




Happiness-Producing Questions
From Kindness: Making a Difference in People's Lives:
Formulas, stories, and insights
By Zelig Pliskin
Printed with Permission of Shaar Press


When you ask people questions, you get them to focus on specific pieces of information and memories. It's an act of kindness to ask the type of questions that give people pleasure and increase their level of happiness.


Here are some questions that you can use as tools to help people access positive states:

* What gives you the most happiness in your life?

* What were your greatest moments?

* What are your favorite childhood memories?

* What are some of the nicest things that people have said to you?

* What was your best vacation?

* What makes you smile?

* What makes you laugh?

* Who makes you feel good just by being in that person's presence?

* What do you enjoy reading?

* What songs put you in positive states?

* What is your favorite possession?

* What is your favorite day of the year?

* When have you unexpectedly had a better time than you thought you would?

* When have you been pleasantly surprised by the way something you did turned out?

* When did you feel you would succeed and you actually did?

* When have you felt joy about seeing someone you hadn't seen in a long time?

* What praises and positive feedback have you appreciated?

* What is the nicest thing a teacher ever told you?

* When did you surprise yourself by being more skillful at something than you thought you could?

* How do you look when you smile at yourself in a mirror?

* When has someone given you a gift that you greatly appreciated?

* What do you consider your wisest decision?

* What advice do you have for others to increase their happiness?

* What did you do for someone else that you felt great about?

* What is the nicest thing a total stranger ever did for you?

* What have you been grateful for in the past?

* What are you grateful for in the present?

* When have you felt joyous for no special reason?

* What healthy activities give you a natural high?

* When were you about to give up and someone's encouragement kept you motivated?

* (For grandparents): What is a clever thing one of your grandchildren said?

* What is your favorite question that anyone ever asked you?

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Responses From Readers
Comments on Seeing Kindness through the Eyes of a Child






* About the 10 year old child who read the elderly man's body language, please pass this on to the grandmother.


What high emotional intelligence your grandson has, may you and all of Israel have much enjoyment from him.


With his huge heart and initiative for one so young, may God guide him so he will be an inspiration and a leader to his people. (L. L)


* What a lovely thing to do! (F.M.)


* Beautiful! (B.G.)


* What a beautiful way to raise children to kindness! (A.K.N)
•


More About Partners In Kindness
Speaking About Kindness




When Shmuel Greenbaum has the opportunity to speak, he rivets his audience's attention through stories and audience participation. Participants come away feeling very positive and excited about doing something great.


His excitement for kindness is infectious, as this student from New York City's Stuyvesant High School explains:


I was expecting to attend the lecture given by Shmuel Greenbaum for one period. I ended up staying for four. It is so uplifting, so enlightening, so refreshing to hear someone like him talk, to simply bubble over with excitement at the thought of doing good in the world. He is in his way a role model to us all.


You think to yourself, "If only everyone else could practice kindness in the way that Shmuel Greenbaum has, the world would truly be a better place."


For further information, please visit our website
or send us an e-mail: mailto:info@partnersinkindness.org




Kind Words is a free weekly e-mail distributed by Partners In Kindness.


Although the content of these e-mails contains copyrighted material, Partners in Kindness allows users who register at our website to reprint them in print, on a website, or on an e-mail distribution list at no cost.


If you have permission to reprint this e-mail, please ensure that you reprint the entire e-mail (including this notice).


Names of people, places, and other details mentioned in these stories may have been changed to protect privacy.


Kindness is like music, art, sports or any other discipline -- it can only be mastered with practice, training, and lots and lots of encouragement. That is what Partners in Kindness is trying to promote.




Please pass our e-mails along to your friends and family!


Partners in Kindness
A Tradition of Kindness




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Our first book, A Daily Dose of Kindness, represents the best of these e-mails. The book contains diverse stories about Israel submitted from one hundred contributors.


A Daily Dose of Kindness is the result of the collaboration of hundreds of volunteers and financial supporters of many different religions and nationalities. These stories of caring may bring new hope to Israel, the Middle East and the world.


(Note: the book is not shipped gift wrapped or with any of the items shown in the photograph)
Free with a donation of: $25

Learn More


email: info@partnersinkindness.org
web: http://www.partnersinkindness.org/





Kind Words is among other emotionally rewarding listings in the Global Resources section of EMPOWER Yourself
to Cope with a Medical Challenge. Buy it at Booklocker for faster shipping or get $1.00 off the list price from Barnes & Nobel!


Face Your Medical Problems with Dignity.
Face Your Future with Optimism.

Dedicated and Random Acts of Kindness CAN... Save Lives!

B'SD

16 Iyar 5769

teaches you how to cope with medical challenges. Among the lessons in it is this: the need to advocate for the person receiving medical treatment.

The Resources section of "It's MY Crisis! And I'll Cry if I Need To" includes a recommended reading list among other helpful things. One suggestion is the free Zine (E-mail messages sent on regular basis) called "A Daily Dose of Kindness."

One of the "Kindness" readers recently made some marvelous comments, echoing the advocacy lesson I teach in "It's MY Crisis!" I have permission to repost those comments here (highlights mine):

" My mother was in and out of the hospital

more in than out) over an 8 month period.

She’s very ill. When she was in the hospital, we dealt with all types of

nurses, patient care technician’s, etc.

Some were extremely kind and went

out their way to help. Others were so nasty
they made my mother cry.

She’s totally paralyzed except for [her] head, on a respirator and is totally

aware and awake. My sister and I are her only advocates. We are her 'voice.'

We’d like to let all those who are going

through a similar situation know that

giving up is not an option.

No matter how long it takes,

fight for the patients rights.

We started by addressing the nurses directly. When this didn’t work,
we went to the nurse manager,

then to the patient representatives,

then up to the vice president

of patient relations, then to the

vice president of the entire hospital.

It was a lot of work – hours and hours

of it, but in the end, we got our mother

the help she so desperately needs.

Every case is different.

Keep in mind, most hospitals

are in financial crisis.

Insurance companies pay very little for claims. Still, your patient should

NEVER be subjected to mistreatment.

One example (a very common problem):

[is] if the patient isn’t turned often enough.

Find out the protocol. It’s usually 2 hours.

If it’s approaching the 2 hour mark,

gently remind a nurse.

If anything is 15 minutes or more

behind schedule, you have the right

to complain and try to move things along.

We have a 10 minute rule –

we remind the staff every 10 minutes

until it gets done.

No matter how nasty they get, stay calm.

You need their help, especially for

the times the patient will be left alone.

If it goes on too long (1/2 hour or longer),

we go to a higher person in charge.

The staff is overwhelmed at times,

but they are there for a reason.

Offer your assistance if they’ll allow it.

If you can’t be there as often as you’d like,

call an organization like Bikur Cholim

[YG: a charitable organization for ill people] and see if they can send

volunteers to sit with your patient.

They’re available day and night.

Try to get friends, neighbors, relatives, etc. to sit in the hospital just to

keep any eye out. NEVER

be ashamed to ask for help –

your asking could save the person’s life."

For information about the Daily Dose of Kindness Zine, contact Shmuel Greenbaum .


Like that story? You just might love my book, which advocates the lesson in it, and other lessons to help the ill person you care for.

Click on I'm Buying "It's MY Crisis! And I'll Cry if I Need To" so I can Improve Someone's Health with a Book that "Helps You to Dry Your Tears and to Cope with a Medical Challenge".


To your good health,

Yojeved Golani
Coping with a Medical Crisis?
Make the Changes You Need in Your Life

Healthy Respect and The Power of Compassion

16 Sivan 5768

MY BOOK reminds people to thank and to smile at medical staff who help them in any manner, even when the treatment is hard to take. Why? Because there is plenty of behind-the-scenes medical drama that patients need to know about. Simple decency calls for you to be gracious to the professionals helping you and to appreciate the effect of your kindnesses to others.

I thank the Partners in Kindness organization for permitting me to share the following excerpt from their free KIND WORDS E-mail service with you as an illustration of my remarks above:

KIND WORDS
View with Compassion

"Life is a Test"The author wishes to remain anonymous
Edited by Shmuel Greenbaum
Printed with Permission of http://www.partnersinkindness.org/

This morning I had to go for a blood test and EKG in preparation for upcoming surgery. After the blood test, I was waiting in line for my turn for the EKG when my cell phone rang. It was the nurse who had administered the blood test, telling me that she had forgotten to fill a second tube with blood for an additional test and I would have to return to the lab right away.

After the EKG, I went back to the lab. The nurse was waiting for me, and apologized profusely for her mistake. In that instant I thought about how fortunate we are to have such beautiful modern health care facilities that are improving all the time, and health care professionals who are doing the best they can to give kind and thoughtful service -- and I smiled at her and told her that it's okay, things like this happen sometimes and it's all for the best. "Some people would be angry and yell at me," she said and added, "thank you for being so nice."

We both had a good feeling and wished each other a wonderful day and good health. I felt great all day and I have a feeling she did, too!
-----------------------------------------------------------------

To your good health AND that of your medical care professionals,

Yojeved Golani
Coping with a Medical Crisis?
Make the Changes You Need in Your Life.

Tech Talk at the Speed of Tachyons!

6 Tishrei 5768

Want to calm down after receiving a frightening medical diagnosis? Want to cope with the news to the best of your ability? Read on!

*************************************************************

Ever heard of those hard-to-photograph energy particles called Tachyons? Maybe you'll recall hearing about them in association with the String Theory gaining popularity in the science and real worlds. Well, the news about "It's MY Crisis!" is apparently zipping around the world and cyberspace at warp speed. Tachyons seem to be taking the news all over the place ;^ )

Authors need to promote their books and I've been busy selling mine. I touch base with radio show hosts, journalists, and lots of other people, worldwide, as I strive to get the word out about my psyche-saving book. One technique I use is simple E-mail. Another is fax. Posting publicity materials in high-visibility areas in my immediate locale helps, too.

Recipients of my E-mailed and faxed Media Release announcement about the book's publication have obviously been "forwarding" the message around cyberspace and real space. I've been receiving kudos from people I do and do not know. And book sales are going up with all the attention paid to my user-friendly message.

Here are some of the reactions I'm getting from around the wide, wide world:

Way to go!

- Mike Barnett

The book and your career sound remarkable, simply amazing. I will pass on this book's availability, now that it is out. It sounds so important! I will recommend it and recommend you as a life coach. Wonderful that you do such a service!

- Chana Tova Sokol

Sounds like another winner, YG! Should hit the NYT top ten pretty soon.

- Al Hattal http://www.biz2bizwriter.com/about.htm

Yiyasher KokhaKhaiKH for this important book. May it have the great success it deserves. I wish I were still reviewing for Publishers Weekly and Kirkus. We were both miraculously saved for a purpose.

- Isaac Mozeson, author of Origin of Speeches

Gosh, everyone I know says 'I shoulda' or 'I wish I had...' after they go through something big. You did it! You wrote a book that helps people to cope! It's amazing.

- Marla Braun

Wishing you hatzlocha (success) on your book and blessings for a sweet New Year filled with all good things.

-S. Greenbaum, creator of Partners in Kindness

Readers are learning to cope better with medical crises by reading my book. Buy your copy today, and consider buying one for someone else who needs it. All the information you need is on the left-hand margin and in previous posts to this blog.

To Your Good Health, Yocheved