Need solutions for the medication, medical appliances and/or medical travel that you can't afford? READ EMPOWER Yourself.
A Health Information Management professional, I survived a life-threatening emergency with information that only a person of my professional experience would know. And I’m sharing it!
Showing posts with label how to be positive. Show all posts
Showing posts with label how to be positive. Show all posts
B'SD 25 Av, 5887 Yesterday I made mention of professional pessimism. The phrase happens to be part of a joke that I use from time to time, especially with my coaching clients. I use the words to point out thinking, aka thought process, errors. Here's an echo of things I've said after I mention "You're quite consistent at pessimism, almost professional. You could give lessons in how to see the down side to things. But it's not what you want to do. I know that because you've asked me how to solve X, Y, or Z..."
Negativity feeds on itself. Then it runs into reality. The results can be emotionally, perhaps physically, painful. As Byron Katie teaches, “When you argue with reality, you lose, but only 100% of the time.”
Here's a thought that might jolt a pessimist out of their convoluted reverie: "Don't try to be a pessimist. It won't always work."(Psst: I tend to point out when life went more easily than my pessimistic client expected, and ask them to explain the phenomenon to me. They sigh or stutter, then look at me in frustration because they realize that their negative expectations were unfounded.)
What does a pessimist say when they see a light at the end of the tunnel? "It's the wrong tunnel."
You can change the paradigm when you look for the good in any situation. Yes, I'm aware of many horrific situations. And I'm aware of survivors who succeeded in overcoming them by being purposely positive and focused on an ever-better future. When you choose to think positively, people come forward with solutions, kindness and friendship. So does the entire universe! Why? Because your positive point of view is appealing. You welcome life instead of rejecting it and the solutions that you need. Watch what happens to you over time when you focus on upbeat ideas. The payoff is priceless.
As I teach in the EMPOWER Yourselfbook, "Don't shut the door on possibilities. When you do that, GOD has nothing to work with." The power of pessimism can hurt you and other people. Leave it behind you.
B'SD 9 Nisan, 5777 As you know, I write for the mental health site, e-counseling. Before that, I invested many life and academic lessons in
I continue to help ill people worldwide with coaching strategies that help them to identify their goals, then to form plans for achieving them. One of the problems that many ill or otherwise unhappy people need to overcome is the limiting belief that "Nothing I do matters." I heartily disagree. The world is full of miracles. Some of them make headlines. We can foster medical and other miracles with upbeat mindsets. Unconvinced? Spend time pondering this quote: “Man is not fully conditioned and determined but rather determines himself whether he gives in to conditions or stands up to them. In other words, man is ultimately self-determining. Man does not simply exist but always decides what his existence will be, what he will become in the next moment.” ― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning No, you can't control the universe, that's GOD's job. What you can control is your mindset, your worldview, your desire to become ever-better inside and out.
Need to read motivational material? Buy the E-book or print edition of EMPOWER Yourself to Cope with a Medical Challenge. Face Your Medical Problems with Dignity.
Face Your Future with Optimism.
Fill your heart, mind and soul with uplifting goals and choices.
B'SD 1 Iyar, 5776 I'm coping with cybertroubles today, doing my best to finesse computer problems. It's a good thing I use those calming techniques addressed in
While we're on the topic of dealing withSTRESS,I hope that you'll benefit from the heartwarming message below.
B'SD 23 Kislev, 5775 Sometimes there's a weekly theme to this blog. This week the theme is "Super." Sometimes the shock, pain, fear, despair and/or inconvenience of a diagnosis leaves us feeling anything but "super" in the sense of "good." We tend to feel super-horrible, super scared, and super saddened by a medical challenge, not super terrific by any means.
Hold that thought as you read the blog this week.
I have a bit of a surprise coming up for you on Thursday.
But let's begin with the super-wonderful, super-heartwarming Sommers family who dealt admirably with a severe blow to its happiness.
The enthusiasm that the family generated resulted in a Rabbis Shave for the Brave event. There was even a
If you need a how-to guide for figuring out how to feel at all positive despite grim medical news, read several passages about that, spread throughout
Post traumatic growth is about putting a life-changing, or any significant event, in perspective. That promotes emotional progress and more. Figure out how to supercharge your ability to cope with your medical challenge, or someone else's.
Buy the E-book or print edition of EMPOWER Yourself to Cope with a Medical Challenge. Face Your Medical Problems with Dignity.
Face Your Future with Optimism. Facing fear with growing courage empowers you to make progress.
Several people have asked me to excerpt comments from my public appearances at this blog. They mentioned that most of us don't know how to beat the odds, how to persevere past adversity, let alone how to be happy when life seems so saddening.
I agree. Most people feel miserable too often and for too preventably long.
Need a How-to-Do-This Kit?
Read on for the words I've said
in front of live audiences.
Remember when I fainted upon realizing that I had a benign but deadly brain tumor? I eventually rose from the floor, with assistance. The MRI-giver explained to me that he was launching a world-wide search for the brain surgeon able to remove the large tumor without killing me in the process. But until that surgeon would be found, I would have to return home. I could not stay in the hospital though all my nerves were being increasingly crushed by the benign-but-deadly brain tumor. I asked if I would awaken after I fell asleep for a nap or for the night, and he responded “I don’t know.”
I learned that my optic nerves had been crushed, causing the blindness. But whenever the tumor moved in a particular and uncontrollable way, I was able to see a bit. With good luck, my sight would be restored after tumor removal.
I realized that I’d survived this long and needed miracles to survive until, and past, life-saving surgery. I had one chance to stay alive and I chose to take it: I needed to become a powerfully positive person in nanoseconds. I needed to make it to surgery day, whenever it would be. Once home, neighbors helped me to contact friends nearby and abroad.
US friends contacted me within days. They would pay my airfare and hospital bill in order to have surgery from a highly regarded surgeon in America. But I had just learned of a brain surgeon in the same Israeli hospital where I’d had MRIs. He was willing and available to make the effort to save my life. “I’ll remain in the Holy Land,” I announced. “My life is here. GOD is a local call.”
Stunned and dismayed by my reaction, my phone-callers begged me to reconsider. “No, I have it figured out. International travel now is not going to help me to be better; I’ll be exhausted, in flux, and dependent on others. I need to have surgery at home where I can more easily recover. GOD gave me a chance to prove that I believe what I’ve practiced and studied lifelong: He’s in charge. He wants to bless us with life and other goodness. I need to let Him, not to interfere with the process. I’m going to be fine. Think of all the miracles, not the shock to our system: I’m alive despite BIG odds. There’s a reason for that. I’m going to work with GOD, not against Him!”
I apologize for using masculine terms when I refer to GOD. In Hebrew, GOD is referred to in the feminine gender also. A Hebrew speaker switches those genders to indicate which aspect of GODliness we’re referencing (All-knowing, Compassionate, Judgmental, Slow to Anger, Sovereign, Wise, etc).
OK, back to the survival plan I explained to my US friends holding the phone and wondering what I’d say next: It was a four-step plan of action designed to convince my mind and every cell in my body that I would heal from the forthcoming, dangerous surgery. The neurosurgeon in charge had already told me that I’d be left with double vision, in need of intensive physical and occupational therapy for two months following the harrowing surgery. He was confident that I would recover my strength and learn how to move about despite all the problems that the tumor and life-saving would cause: Industrial-strength vertigo, difficulty seeing let alone reading, unemployment until I could master some necessary tasks, and a lifelong tendency to tire quickly, unexpectedly and rather inconveniently.
I do not recall hearing him say that I’d also need speech therapy and to learn how to live with facial droop, a form of Bell’s Palsy. It turns out that my jaw had to be broken in order for the neurosurgeon to reach and to remove the brain tumor in the back of my head. He’d planned the procedure with medically savvy me, an experienced medical coder who understands anatomy and surgical procedures plus medical processes. We chose the best of two possible surgical routes, the one that would take less time and minimize the danger of killing me on the operating table: Accessing the tumor from a different direction via the hollow sinuses in my brain rather than opening my skull in back (during face-down surgery) and struggling to disentangle the nerves embedded and crushed within the tumor.
My appearance was so altered by the surgery that I shuddered to see my mirrored reflection. Once I began to see again (a BIG surprise to the entire medical team), I covered my mirrors at home to prevent a sense of discouragement. What I would learn by surprise is that my four-step plan would repair the problem:
Step 1 – Refuse to speak, think or listen to negativity. The trauma of the tumor, medical professionals betraying me and brain surgery were traumas on their own. I needed to prevent new and to possibly reverse old psychological damage that could prevent my physiological recovery.
Step 2 – Decide once and forever that failure to improve my character and my health hour by hour, day by tiring, painful, frightening day, was not an option. I needed to become an extraordinary optimist despite knees and a heart that felt like jello.
Step 3 – Focus on the future with forced positivity. I had to fake it to make it to the finish line alive. I needed to praise people helping me with laundry, cooking, around-the-clock companionship (it was dangerous to leave newly blinded and very weak me alone at home), and transporting me to various medical or therapy appointments.
A former instructor of Dr Miriam Adahan’s EMETT system (http://www.miriamadahan.com/), I knew that repeated efforts at being grateful, happy, and open to positive developments would inscribe them on my psyche until I actually became that positive person. And I knew that I’d fail sometimes, and be able to renew my efforts.
Step 4 – Engage the world, the universe and GOD to bless me with healing however possible while finding out what those possibilities could be, then USE them!
That’s it, the whole survival kit. Repeat your efforts until it works for you. Modify your efforts to suit your needs but NEVER abandon your goal to see, think and behave positively. Keep that door to miracles open so GOD has something to work with. If you slam it shut in anger, bitterness, self-pity or something else negative, you’ve ended the communication and any chance for improvement.
But hang on – Judaism teaches that GOD is slow to anger. You just might merit a miracle or more based on past behavior or someone’s prayers. Try and try again to be in the best possible frame of mind and physical condition. Promote and protect yourself. Let miracles into your life.
Want to learn more ways to be upbeat despite your fear, pain and anger? Buy the E-book or print edition of EMPOWER Yourself to Cope with a Medical Challenge. Face Your Medical Problems with Dignity.
Face Your Future with Optimism. Fill your life with pleasant possibilities.
B'SD 20 Sivan, 5774 Sorry for my absences from the blog. My life has filled with several pressing matters, among them 'round-the-clock prayers for the safe return of Israel's kidnapped teens. How I manage to function under emotional - or any other - pressure, is described in
You can learn those techniques by reading the text, by practicing the techniques, and by allowing your mind/soul to improve in fascinating ways. That improves your coping abilities and your chances for better health - inside and out. Need proof that the positive outlook system works, even if you have to fake it for a while?
Watch
Stand by for updates. I plan to share some news about how I improved my eyesight even more in the past few weeks. And how my methodology helped a patient observing me in action at the clinic!
Buy the E-book or print edition of EMPOWER Yourself to Cope with a Medical Challenge. Face Your Medical Problems with Dignity. Face Your Future with Optimism. Figure out how to go forward as you fill your soul with peace. Power your mind in user-friendly ways.
B'SD 13 Tevet, 5773 From Israel to the USA, lives have been battered and endangered by snowstorms. Property has been destroyed, lives altered in serious, lasting ways. The news has its upbeat side, too: Several thousand Israeli homes have had electricity
restored,babieswerebornafter pregnant
momswere
safely evacuated to hospitals, stranded motorists
received safe shelter and food, andIsrael's soldiers are helping wherever
they can. They've spread across the
map. WOW. While all this was going on, people faced fears, misery (cold, hunger and health matters among them) and uncertainty. Many of them focused on the improvements going on or about to happen. Some people indulged in delightful memories of having been helped some time ago. The people providing necessary help did it despite their personal inconvenience. Here are photos of Israel's rare winter storm of note. When pain is raw and deep, reach for decency and
perspective. That strengthens you to right the wrongs of life, or to deal with them sensibly. Need insight on how to do that? Listen in.
Need to read a book that teaches those lessons, too? It was written before the author had ever heard of Tal Ben-Shachar. Buy the E-book or print edition of EMPOWER Yourself to Cope with a Medical Challenge. Face Your Medical Problems with Dignity.
Face Your Future with Optimism. Fill your life with optimism; Use perspective.
I'm confident that you'll feel much better after enjoying this video. It's a lovely lesson about how to look deeply into life for the beauty in it.
Get more insight into having a healthier, happier life. Quick and convenient: E-book EMPOWER Yourself to Cope with a Medical Challenge. Buy it at http://www.booklocker.com/books/4244.html
Face Your Medical Problems with Dignity. Face Your Future with Optimism.
"Asking 'Why is this happening?' can only disempower you. Asking 'What do I want to make of this?' does exactly the opposite." -- Neale Donald Walsh
"Making something productive of 'This' is very, very empowering." -- Yocheved Golani
I've heard fellow author Mitch Albom, author of Tuesdays with Morrie, speak of his charitable efforts. He insists that if everybody pitched in to do what they can, then a lot could be achieved.
I'm especialy impressed with one result of Mitch's initiative in financially damaged Michigan:
I well understand the phenomenon. I understood how to survive a horrific medical crisis and to recover my sight. When? When far too many people in the medical and social services world had no clues about how to help me through or past my medical crisis.
So I spent my recovery time doing for you what the medical and mental health world can't do. Imagine how you can minimize your stress and medical expenses with this book:
Coping with a Medical Crisis? Make the Changes You Need in Your Life
I just learned from Booklocker, the publisher of my forthcoming book, that publication is in further progress. I plan to post a Media Release at this site as soon as the books are available for purchase.
Meanwhile, I want to share some insights with you about one of the worst problems that keep popping up during medical and emotional crises: NEGATIVTY. I've faced it lifelong, as have you. Medical or emotional crises increase our awareness of negativity. Here's a 2-Step Plan for Coping with Negativity. Use it when you're in a crunch.
1. Understand Who’s Responsible for Your Happiness
If we demand that someone or something change in order to make us happy, we place them and/or circumstances in control of our happiness. Dwelling on what’s not yet in your life is self-sabotage.
This concept applies to health and emotional crises.
Happiness is your responsibility. Keep inventory of what’s already “good” in your life. That helps you to weather difficult times. And it helps you to identify increasing goodness in your life.
Are people trying to help you? Did something unexpected and pleasant happen to you? Did something you dread fail to happen to you? CELEBRATE!
And keep your positive moods going strong with smiles. Even when you must force a smile, you’re teaching your body that you can cope with distress.
Feeling down and can’t seem to shake the lousy mood? Announce out loud that you’re giving the negative vibes to the universe so the negativity can be recycled in some productive way.
2. Don’t Undermine Your Happiness. Avoid Commercials and Advertisements. I feel schizophrenic after reading or hearing content that tells me how wonderful I am, as I am. But the advertisements/commercials insist that I will not be fulfilled or realize my destiny unless I buy countless products to improve my figure, prowess, smile, income, furniture, etc. That tactic is great for publishers. They’ll keep selling their newest editions and broadcasts to insecure and confused customers trapped in the vicious cycle. Realize it for what is is: a sales tool with little to no bearing on reality.
Nobody gets to heaven or a calm state of mind because they used the correct toothpaste or scored the biggest business deal.
One more thought before I sign off today: I suspect that the reason so many forms of therapy (animal exposure therapy such as horse riding or holding warm, cuddly creatures, talk therapy, etc.) work as well as they do is because they maximize a person's intention to cope or to heal. Focus is key. When you increase your desire and awareness of how to cope with various issues, you do. You cope. And you heal as much as possible.
