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Thursday, November 27, 2008

How to Believe in Yourself


29 Mar-Cheshvan 5769

In today's post I am fulfilling a promise to a dear friend. Here we go:

A significant part of my technique in coping with adversity is the nurturing of my sense of self. It is the key to anyone's ability to cope.

"I am."

Those are words I use to grasp the solution to any problem I face.

I am all the insights, experiences, victories and failures gained and experienced in my brief existence. Individually, they represent isolated segments of my reality. As a whole, they comprise my mindset, my worldview. This is true of you, too.

In my Self-Help Coaching practice, I emphasize that everyone needs (as in NEEDS) a conscious, accurate awareness of their core self. And everyone needs to groom their sense of self, to make it ever-better. Bumbling along with the rest of society, or with one's group of friends and acquaintances, perhaps with your relatives, is heart- and mind-numbing. The decision to NOT engage in critical thinking skills cannot advance growth in a human soul!

Conforming in order to be part of a group is fine and normal, to a degree. We call that "Cooperation." But to be in lock-step mimicry of what everyone around you is doing is to destroy your sense of "I." Nobody can keep up with the latest styles, be they food, fashion, physique or anything else. That is, they can't unless they seek to enslave themselves to fleeting whims.

Now, what if you are experiencing a health issue (medical or mental/emotional)?
Stuff most people don't understand?

As we face hardships that others do not experience, we learn life lessons about coping mechanisms that work. We learn about strategies that do not benefit us. We make future choices based on that.

Thinking and functioning on that level of awareness leads to spiritual and intellectual growth: the growing sense of "Hey, I can do this, that, the other. And I sure don't need to take the options that hurt me in the past." It allows us to behave with courage, generosity and compassion.

Such thinking makes you immune to superficial standards of "worth" based on appearances, wealth, fleeting standards of popular entertainment and value; the mental junk that wears you down. External tastes come and go. It is the integrity of the personality that stands the test of time.

Integrity enables you to help people in your personal world: friends, family, business associates. YOURSELF.

Jealousy, anger, frustration, confusion; they fall to the wayside. With enough practice of your ennobling personality traits, you begin to forget to think in a jealous, angry, frustrated or confused manner. You become permanently stable. You are not beholden to others for a sense of self-worth.

Your permanent sense of I-dentity leaves you peaceful, friendly, and adapative to challenges as they arise. It is a blessing. And the blessing grows with your personal practice of those uplifting characteristics. It lets you appreciate the One Above, too. That sense of appreciation becomes part of an empowering cycle.

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Ah, one more thought: When I do Self-Help Coaching, I ask my clients lots of questions. Those questions provoke introspection. That leads to insights and solutions: the answers my clients seek. I do this because I KNOW: your answers lie within you. I'm willing to help you to find them.

You Need to Believe in Yourself. After a Fall, You CAN Get up Again. Watch:

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