Humor for Healing Minds and Bodies

B'SD

8 Menachem Av 5769

The Jewish (and larger) world is on the brink of our saddest day on the calendar: 9 Menachem Av. It marks the destructions of our two holy temples in the holy land, where people of all faiths once worshipped The One Above. It is the anniversary of many punitive decrees and disasters.

One of the ways I teach my coaching clients to cope with overwhelming grief is to count one's blessings. It's a habit that can be created, one step at a time. I advocate the use of humor, too.

So to offset some of the despair that usually goes with tomorrow's date on the calendar, I offer you some heartwarming chuckles and food for thought.

I send special thanks to my friend Lisa Harris for sending today's content to me via E-mail.

If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he's the famous erudite scientist who once said: "I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates." His mind sees things differently than most of us do, to our amazement and amusement. Here are some of his gems:

1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.

3 - Half the people you know are below average.

4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

8 - If you want a rainbow you've got to put up with the rain.

9 - All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend, ..... But she left me before we met.

12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?

13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.

19 - I intend to live forever.... So far, so good.

20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.

33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.

And an all time favorite-

34 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?

Remember: The One Above wants us to behave pleasantly to each other.


Click on I'm Buying the 1st edition of "It's My Crisis!" So I can Learn to Cope with a Medical Challenge with a Sense of Humor.


Cry if you need to, and learn to dry your tears.

THAT can help you to cope with a medical challenge.

Yocheved Golani
Coping with a Medical Crisis?
Make the Changes You Need in Your Life