14 Tamuz 5768
I recently shared some insights with a woman whose husband is recovering from major surgery. She'd been upset at his non-stop television watching and bored behavior. My remarks are true for this couple and for anyone trying to cope with a medical challenge or crisis. I hope you'll benefit from them:
" ...it's not simply your husband's thoughts that are adjusting to his post-operative reality, it's his body's readjustment period, too.
"He's been zapped of a lot of physical strength and he's facing the emotional shock of it all. Remember: men don't identify well with being helpless, ill, or dependent (women are mentally prepared for it cuz that's how we recover from giving birth). Meanwhile, his muscles and nerves are learning to work together again after being heavily drugged. The surgery itself was a trauma to his body, let alone the tumor's influence on his body functions. What a mix to master!
"What you need to do is to think of incremental improvements over time. It goes something like this: one day he walks to the end of the lawn. A few days later he reaches the end of the block. One week he endures walks to the end of the block 2 or 3 times that same week. A month later he's increasing his speed, sense of balance and his smile. He gets the mail and the paper, maybe runs errands to a corner grocery. He might gradually increase the time spent reading a newspaper or book. Eventually he starts doing the things he always did, at a pace that accommodates his present strengths. Play his favorite music. Maybe he'll dance with you or sing to favorite tunes, stuff like that.
"Be sure to have nutritious food on hand for snacks and meals: fresh fruits and veggies, lots of fresh (not sugared) juices, water, some of his favorite meals to perk up his appetite and sense of joy. Help him to build himself back up from the inside out.
"PRAISE HIM for every improvement he makes. One day at a time, each improvement as it develops. Keep reassessing your husband's progress over the long term, not moment-by-moment. Keep a progress journal if that appeals to you. It can fill gaps in your memory as you cope with competing details. That can be sooooo reassuring."
To summarize the above, here's what you need to focus on in someone recovering from serious medical treatment:
Incremental Improvements: Adding Up One Victory at a Time.
Okay, readers, there you have it. Medical setbacks cause us to behave less lively than we once were.
We go into the future one accomplishment at a time, celebrating individual victories. Those celebrations offset/cancel out the unhappiness from previous setbacks. And the victories add up over time into MANY victories.
My book includes humorous stories and jokes from famous people throughout time.
They overcame personal tragedies and pain, too.
Share the laughter with them when you
BUY YOUR COPY OF
It's My Crisis! And I'll Cry if I Need To: A Life Book that Helps You to Dry Your Tears and to Cope with a Medical Challenge
To your optimal health,
Yojeved Golani
Coping with a Medical Crisis?
Make the Changes You Need in Your Life.
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