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Sunday, June 16, 2013

What to do When Loved Ones are Far from You in Times of Distress


8 Tamuz, 5773 

A friend of mine is in the emotionally trying situation of being abroad as her siblings prepare for their mom's unexpected funeral. 

She needed a bit of guidance about how to deal with the "Not quite this or that, not exactly here or there" paradox.  

Her predicament is similar to that of men and women in the Orthodox Jewish world who modestly refrain from touching people of the other gender if they are not parents, children or siblings - even during times of distress.

Here's what I shared with her. 
You can use the suggestion, too:

"When I deal with coaching clients not in a position to hug people of the other gender or because of distance, I suggest that they adopt a word or short phrase to use in such instances. The Kennedy family is famous for its "coo" in times of distress. You can see it working to calm the relatives in rare footage of their private lives. Some people use amusing sounds.

"Verbal hugs help when physical hugs aren't an option.

"The coo or other sound/short phrase can be used again and again in times of distress. It's a form of shorthand that captures agreed-upon emotions and supportive responses to them. It can be quite soothing when you're near or far from each other."

Let me know your ideas about that, in the comments section. I look forward to hearing from you. 

A medical or emotional crisis - you'd cry too, if it happened to you. 

Use your tissues and handkerchiefs with my blessings borne of experience. GOD gives you Permission to Weep. 

You can say that to any critics after explaining that "It's MY Crisis! And I'll Cry if I Need To." With a prearranged signal you share with your loved ones. 

It might even be a phrase or chapter in 


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