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A Health Information Management professional, I survived a life-threatening emergency with information that only a person of my professional experience would know. And I’m sharing it!
A group of women met regularly for a Torah/Bible Study class. While they were studying the book of Malachi, in chapter three, they came across verse three, which says: "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver."
This verse interested the women and they wondered how this statement applied to the character and nature of G-d. One of the women thought it might be a good idea to find out more about the process of refining silver, and get back to the group at their next meeting.
The next week, the woman called up a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him while at work. She didn’t mention anything about the reason for her interest, beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver.
As she watched the silversmith work, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire, where the flames were the hottest as to burn away all the impurities.
The woman thought about G-d holding each of us in such a hot spot, and then she thought again about the verse that "He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver." She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit in front of the fire the entire time the silver was being refined.
The man answered yes, that not only did he have to sit there holding the silver but he had to keep his eyes on it the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left even a moment too long in the flame, it would be destroyed.
The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith,
"But how do you know when the silver is finely refined?"
He smiled at her and answered, "Oh that's easy – when I see my image in it."
Learn how and what to pack for hospital or rehab center stays, how to respond so that stubborn or rude medical personnel will meet your needs, and find out about charitable organizations willing to pay part or all of your specific medical costs! Buy the E-book or print edition of EMPOWER Yourself to Cope with a Medical Challenge. Face Your Medical Problems with Dignity.
Face Your Future with Optimism.
Fill your mind and heart with upbeat thoughts and feelings.
B'SD 26 Kislev, 5777 If you want to make holiday season happier and healthier for someone, give them a book that a Methodist minister, rabbi, medical and mental health practitioners recommend:
I'm going to address a troubling problem for ill people:
rude and cruel caregivers who pay little, if any, attention to the patient’s
remarks. I've witnessed this maddening glitch first-hand as a witness to, and
as the victim of, someone's failure to listen.
Many caregivers insist that they are noble, correct and in charge when caring
for patients be they friends, relatives or clients. HOWEVER... here's how the
conversations between some caregivers and the people they're allegedly caring
for tend to go (fill in the blanks as appropriate.):
"I know what you need..."
"I want to..."
"Stop talking. Listen to me; I know what's best for you..."
"I'm going to... Now just stop that and let me..."
"I don't want to hear you say 'I can't.' Would you just let me...?"
Did you hear the sick person above the din? Me neither. And far too often that
silence leads to a deteriorating patient who's already ill, and an increasingly
strained relationship.
The name of the problem is "Inflated Ego." Or what is sometimes
called "I Disease." The caregiver is bossing around the ill person,
issuing this barrage of "I, I, I, I," messages while genuine medical
needs go unmet. This is not a healthy situation. So, I'm providing a reality
alert: The caregiver is NOT the most important person in this scene. The
patient is the VIP (Very Important Person) here!
Here's the information that's being drowned out, along with the despairing
person who needs medical help:
"That's the wrong medication/food you're giving me."
"You're hurting me when you move me around so hard. I'm not a rock."
"You're still holding the wrong medication/food."
"The doctor said not to do it like that. You're supposed to read the
directions."
"You bet I'm upset! Please stop talking/shouting/screaming over me and
listen. Just listen!"
***
Ready to close your mouths and find out how to solve the problem? Great! Hold
that pose while the ill person in your care expresses their concerns. Next,
wait for him or her to ask you to explain what you heard and understood. Only
then may you speak. Get it? Conversation is an interactive activity.
When you enter the ill person's room, do not start talking. Smile. Observe the
scene: does the ill person seem tired/rested/content/upset/warm/cold/in or out
of pain?
Ask the patient these questions, one at a time: "How are you?" and
"Did anything change since we last spoke?" "Please tell me if
you want something." Then LISTEN without interrupting as the person
responds to you, one question at a time.
Do not treat sick people as fools. Do not threaten them. Do not speak in a
condescending manner to people who are sick. You might be dealing with
neurological or physiological changes that the patient(s) cannot control. This
is not a matter of patient willpower, this is a medical reality. You might not
realize the level of physical or emotional pain you're unnecessarily causing to
that person. You just might damage someone's already fragile health by using
the wrong medicine, medical appliance or food item, let alone the wrong
attitude.
Ordering ill people to "Snap out of it! Stop acting sad and sick" is
cruel. Behave respectfully or have someone else perform the personal care. Your
change in behavior just might improve someone's quality of life. Prevent
unwarranted suffering. Remember: communication is supposed to be fair and
productive. Good communication ends in relief.
One more item on this sensitive subject: study the sick person's behavior and
body when hired help is providing medical care. Elder abuse and other abuses in
the medical world exist. Prevent and end them by practicing good sense. Listen
with your ears, eyes and heart.
Here’s a handy list of caregiver tips, developed from my
personal experience and that of some of my Self-Help Coaching clients:
·Make a chart of all
medications used by the loved one you’re helping. Tactfully help him or her to
remember to take those medicines.
·Ask everyone who enters the patient’s room if they have washed their hands.
"No" and silence are NOT acceptable responses.
·Ask nurses to read drug orders out loud and match them to the patient’s arm
bracelet BEFORE giving something to the patient.
·Bring easily portable stuff on visits: a deck of cards, iPODs or other
devices for playing music, or something else that the patient enjoys. Coax the
patient to use his or her brain.
·Keep a little notebook with your observations so you can discuss your
concerns with medical staff, family and friends in a productive NOT GOSSIPY
manner. Write the notes discreetly. Trust me, sick people notice things. And we
tend to be easily upset.
·NEVER give a patient medication without proper supervision.
·Don’t help the patient in and out of bed unless the medical staff trained
you to do this safely.
·Help
the sick person to escape the confines of being ill. A car ride, a day in the
park or gentle beach, perhaps a shopping center with comfortable seating areas,
a family event, are just some ideas for trips. Cabin fever can slow down
recovery and coping processes. Changes in scenery can work wonders.
·Cheerfully help
with housework: cooking, cleaning, child care, lawn care, etc. Find out if meals
can be safely made by other people.
·Allow
the person to speak about their medical/emotional crisis. The release leads to
perspective, emotional relief and healing. In mental circles, this is called
"venting" and wow it’s a great help!
·Chat with the
patient about life. Your work, news headlines, funny incidents, something other
than illness.
·Forgive the person for saying or doing
something unusual. Some medications affect behavior and memory, let alone body
functions. Thinking clearly might be a struggle for someone coming out of
anesthesia or taking medications. The challenging medical situation is a hard thing to manage on its own.
·Bite your lips!
Don’t focus on what your loved one can or cannot do. Infantilizing a person
facing a medical or emotional crisis is cruel and harmful. DO FOCUS on what the
person can do and intends to do. Meeting goals, and trying to do so, is
strengthening in many ways.
·Assist the person
in your care when they’re taking medication. Wipe lips as necessary, and with a
gentle touch. Remember also, that eyesight might be affected. He or she I might
not be able to read the small print on the bottle.
·Be gracious about sleeping problems. A
person facing illness could have difficulty sleeping. Gently and firmly explore what will help
the person to relax, to enjoy restful, restorative sleep.
·Empower the patient. Let him or her make
choices, use the television remote and anything else they’d like to do within
reason. Offer to help
the person to create a list of goals on a paper or a poster-board they can more
easily read. Check off accomplishments and celebrate them.
·Have patience. Be
respectful. Know that you cannot possibly understand the illness experience
from the patient’s perspective. Some things are hard to convey. Practice a
compassionate pose on your facial muscles. Use it often.
While we're on the topic of patience and perspective,
consider this: One of the worrisome - and dangerous - problems for people with
cancer is loss of appetite from chemotherapy (sometimes referred to as Cancer
Anorexia). That causes an ever-lowering calorie count. Not a good side-effect!
Cancer upsets metabolism. Chemotherapy traumatizes the human body, creating the
need for superb nutrition. Side-effects such as nausea, vomiting, diarrhea and
physical weakness from chemotherapy make food most unappetizing. Both problems
combined mean the affected person keeps losing weight, mostly from muscle loss.
A delightful solution to the problems is to put some thought, family and
friendship energy into preparing highly nutritious and visually appealing meals
for a person with cancer. Imagine the good that can do for someone who
desperately needs body-building food.
The need for nutrition is true for any seriously ill person, no matter who is
facing a medical crisis or why. Look at the situation from the situation of a
sick child, elderly person, or anyone who's ill and their worldview. Do they
lack teeth? Do they have mouth sores that will be further irritated by food and
hot or cold temperatures? Is the person's gag reflex going to be problematic?
Scolding is NOT appropriate. Making fun of the person
refusing or unable to eat is cruel, not helpful. Neither are guilt trips. Cook
up a meal and a plan to get the suffering person to eat it. Focus on pleasure,
soothing results, and compassion.
Find solutions. Use blenders to create smooth, easily
swallowed textures. Straws make food fun for little ones sipping blended food
with soup or water added to it. Warmish gello is a quick picker-upper for
someone trying to build strength to swallow more nutritious fare (it also
soothes sore throats). Use towels as bibs for larger diners who spill food
despite their best efforts to be neat. DO NOT COMPLAIN about the laundry this
will cause. Here's a nice dessert for everyone involved: by helping the ill
person to eat better, you'll feel better for expressing a level of kindness
unparalleled in the medical world.
While we're on the topic of good manners, here's the
skinny on Wheelchair Etiquette 101:
People who use wheelchairs don’t do that for your
convenience. Think of it this way: the wheelchair is similar to an arm, leg or
any other necessary body part for the person sitting in one. A wheelchair is
literally the extension of a person's body, not a toy or handy-dandy catch-all.
You don't smear fingerprints on someone's glasses, do you?
Try out their hearing aids? Of course not; that's crossing personal boundaries.
When you fail to heed the personal boundaries that wheelchairs represent, you
make people uncomfortable...
Face Your Medical Problems with Dignity.
Face Your Future with Optimism.
Fill your shopping list with things that people appreciate!
My arm is almost completely healed, and I owe part of the success to correct thinking when I first injured it. I knew exactly what to do and how to prevent paperwork problems with advance planning in case the need arose.
Need a great gift for holiday season? Buy the E-book or print edition of EMPOWER Yourself to Cope with a Medical Challenge. Face Your Medical Problems with Dignity.
Face Your Future with Optimism.
Fill your mind with methodical plans to minimize YOUR problems!
B'SD 18 Kislev, 5777 Orthopedic doctors are deeply impressed with the rapid healing of my once-broken arm. Exams show that healing was two weeks faster than normal! One of the doctors remarked that I've recovered as fast as a teenager, and nodded when I gave credit to blessings from above plus my organic diet. Want to find out what I know about healing and why medical plus mental health professionals recommend this book?
.
Buy the E-book or print edition of EMPOWER Yourself to Cope with a Medical Challenge. Face Your Medical Problems with Dignity.
Face Your Future with Optimism.
Fill your life with sound solutions.
I haven't updated the blog lately due to the limitations of my broken arm (accident last Sunday).
Here's the interesting idea I want to share you today:
Yesterday's medical exam revealed that my healing is 1.5 weeks ahead of medical expectations! And at my age!
I am confident that GOD's blessings and THE excellent nutrition that I advocate are responsible for the phenom.
Go organic. Rid your body of toxins that harm it. Fill your cells with the support they need.
Study with a competent naturopath.
Learn how and why a wholesome diet helped me to see, let alone to be healthy, again. Find out what that can do for YOU. Buy the E-book or print edition of EMPOWER Yourself to Cope with a Medical Challenge. Face Your Medical Problems with Dignity.
Face Your Future with Optimism.
Fill your mouth with good-for-you-food.
B'SD 26 Cheshvan 5777 Emotions are roiling across the world due to gut-wrenching, heart breaking incidents. Too many to list, and some are intensely private. They might never be recognized by the wider public. What all of us need to know in the depths of our despair is that a future awaits. We can help to mold it in our favor somehow, even if that means to simply avoid becoming bitter. That takes a sense of increasing calm, patience and curiosity. It also means focusing on insight - analyzing what's going wrong and what should be happening instead. Care to think that through? Perhaps the thoughts I shared during a public appearance last year can help you:
Viktor Frankl said "When we are no longer able to change a situation we are challenged to change ourselves." I'd like to add, "When you’re going through hell, don’t stop. Find the exit. Or create it."
All of us are here to heal. It might be from physical, emotional, mental or spiritual issues. As you move through the throngs of people and exhibits, you feel an energy coursing through and around you. Use it. Memorize it. Cradle it. That energy can motivate you when you're feeling drained, clueless, and hopeless.
As we move through our healing experiences, we grow in insights, compassion for ourselves and others. We learn not to assume, but to observe, to wonder, to be in awe. Respect, on many different levels, becomes one with our identities. The universe is filled with answers, and it beckons us to grow, even as we hardly realize that we are growing despite our agony.
Accept the invitation. Fulfill your destiny as a spiritual creature. Let the wonder fill your soul. Let the wonder heal you. The adventure is a gift from GOD, though it sometimes feels like a punishment. It is not. It is a path. Humanity tends to berate itself. But HaShem's nature, so to speak, is to forgive. Take Her/His lead. Go, find yourself in the universe, with every bit of your pain, doubt and fear. Access its healing powers. GOD put them there. The goal is to grow your soul. Open your eyes, mind, your gut and your heart to healing possibilities. Find the love that awaits you. GOD put it there.
Read a book that medical and mental health professionals recommend. It helps readers past many problems.
Buy the E-book or print edition of EMPOWER Yourself to Cope with a Medical Challenge. Face Your Medical Problems with Dignity.
Face Your Future with Optimism.
Fill your sense of sadness with self compassion.
