Born for Greatness!

B'SD


21 Adar 5772


The attacks on Israel have not stopped. I have spent significant amounts of time speaking with affected people, doing what I can to help them to calm down, to cope, and to cry as necessary.


Tears, trembling and sadness have their place in promoting mental/emotional health. As trauma therapist Miriam Maslin teaches, "Wisdom often means letting go of what was in order to make room for what needs to be."


A person who has been traumatized needs the freedom to express their sorrow, their fears, their sense of betrayal, their grief, their loss and everything else on their mind and heavy heart. That helps them to let go of the trauma, to some degree, then to get beyond it to a measure of peace and increasing productivity.


It is a cruelty to tell someone "Stop shaking like that," or to "Stop crying! Get over it already."


Trembling and crying serve some coping purposes: 


1) To alert observers to a perceived trauma so that they  can provide needed compassion and assistance. YOUR "it's not a trauma" interpretation of someone else's trauma is not necessarily relevant to the sufferer. In that person's mind and heavy heart, something terrible has happened. 


2) To quite literally help the suffering person to release their fear, shock, and other negative reactions, so that they can return to a relatively calm state again.


Trembling and tears are specific signs of emotional turmoil. The person trembling and/or crying needs compassion, not dismissive remarks and behaviors.


There is significant psychological evidence of the above. It is presented in case studies and other materials within the mental health world.


There is also significant evidence that people who can envision themselves overcoming problems do overcome those issues.


If you want to consider the fact that you were born to rise above your problems, born for greatness, this tune just might make you smile with wonder and happiness: Born for Greatness!

Want to know how BIG a part of the awe-inspiring universe YOU are? Click on http://vimeo.com/38101676

If you know of a female who needs extra encouragement to achieve her potential, show her this video









Want more inspiration to overcome a setback? Read EMPOWER Yourself to Cope with a Medical Challenge.

Face Your Medical Problems with Dignity.
Face Your Future with Optimism.

6 Reasons Why Suffering is Normal

B'SD

28 Nisan 5770

explains that suffering is part of every life. It's packed with coping strategies, laugh-out-loud humor and information on how to get free or low-cost quality medical necessities.

But sometimes you need to see things from someone else's perspective.

Read Six Reasons Why Suffering Is Normal.

I hope you feel better, now.

EMPOWER Yourself to Cope with a Medical Challenge.

Coping with a Medical Crisis?
Make the Changes You Need in Your Life

Leave the Trauma. Live Your Life!

B'SD

29 Nisan 5770

Leave the trauma. Live Your Life!

Yes, your medical situation is painful. Heartache, physical pain that medications might not help, fear and, well, fill in the blanks.

You're facing unspeakable misery. But you can survive it. Make staying alive your hobby. Pursue health as much as you can. Pretend to be cheerful until you actually think of something funny or pleasant to say or do.

I have no control over how long you'll live, keep some of your body parts or how well medical intervention will work for you. But I know one thing: you can grab life by the collar, no matter how wispy it seems, and decide "I WANT MORE! I WANT BETTER!" Then make it so.

Behave with dignity. Thank the people trying to help you: aides, nurses, doctors, relatives, friends, strangers and neighbors. Cry as necessary, then commit yourself to coping with the problems you have. Find solutions.

Exercise hurts? Do 5 minutes instead of 10. Eating upsets you? Be sure to swallow basic nutrients and nibble away the rest of whatever's on your plate and tray.

What are you talking about? Aches? Pains? Anger? Disfigurement? Mourning? Anything negative? Does your voice have that "I must have said this 1000s of times already?" drone to it? Improve the sound.

STOP living in the trauma.

Live Your Life!

Look for joyous moments: lovely skylines, a hug, footrub, or lack of complications in some regard. You have a new "Normal." Go for the Gusto as best you can. Seize happiness, maximize pleasures no matter how small or big. FOCUS on them. Say pleasant things so people can hear you. Look for their signs of relief at hearing you speak this way. Share it.

Now, snuggle up in your bed or chair, wherever you may be, and bask in your victory. You're ALIVE, and proud of your behavior. You can repeat it, too.

The future can unfold with richer experiences. Let it. If you wish, share your richer experiences with me at Giveretgolani@gmail.com

EMPOWER Yourself to Cope with a Medical Challenge.

Coping with a Medical Crisis?
Make the Changes You Need in Your Life

Thoughts on The Jewish NewYear (this Wednesday night, Sept. 12 2007)

27 Elul 5767

(updated the 3rd of Tishrei, after Shabbat)

The Jewish year is about to change and I will be taking a break from updating this blog as I pray for the peace and healing of the world at large. Rosh HaShanah, Yom Kipur and Sukkot are times for reflection, a chance to ponder the big questions about life. Here are a few of my thoughts about life, meaning and purpose:

Tekia, a powerful sound of the shofar, is linguistically related to "litkoa," to stick an object in the ground. The sound symbolizes our stake in the relationship with our Creator. The sound literally causes vibration in our feet. It is high drama.

True, we call the upcoming season the Ten Days of Awe. But remember to Whom it is we're praying and pledging homage as we tremble in judgment about our pasts and futures. Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach used to chuckle at this time of year, explaining to one and all that "The Judge is my Abba (Daddy/Papa)." He meant that we are judged with love and mercy, and our efforts to improve mitigate His pending decisions.

As HaShem (GOD) puts us into puzzling and agonizing situations, we can adjust our perspectives to comprehend that we are not being punished, rather we are being educated and perhaps entrusted with a precious opportunity to grow in a spiritual manner. Think of it this way: hindsight about some of your past experiences gives you an understanding, an insight about life, that helps you and maybe even other people to progress. You didn't see your wisdom developing as you experienced shock about some surprising, perhaps chilling situation. Still, you ended up wiser if wearier. Not dumber and defeated.

Another sound of the shofar is Shvarim, the cry of the broken heart so in need of comfort. The Shvarim sounds literally make our chests reverberate.

Teruah, the signal of pomp and circumstance, reminds us to focus on the mental/emotional/spiritual effort to crown GOD as our King. The clear call of Teruah resonantes in our ears, our head.

These are the three sound of the Jewish New Year season. They are designed to drive home several points at the very time we are evaluating our relationships with the world and our Creator. That re-evaluation, coupled with the effect of the shofar's call, can make a serious impact on our perspective.

Suffering is pain without meaning. When you see meaning, relevance, in your troubling situations, then you turn the pain into power. It jettisons you forward. You have a unique gift to contribute to the world.

As the sounds of the shofar reverberate around the world, know that it is your yearnings calling to GOD and He/She calling to you as well. BTW, Jewish tracts and tradition teach us that GOD is not limited by human realities such as gender and abilitiy. GOD is omnipotent and beyond human limitations or frailties.

As for the love of GOD, consider this: after our season of judgment and awe, Jews are commanded to dwell in rickety booths called sukkot for a week. The sukkot are reminiscent of how GOD protected Jews wandering from Egyptian slavery through the dangerous desert to Israel. We were shielded from the oppressive heat by cloud cover, fed with manna, slaked with flowing water from Miriam's ever-traveling well. Our clothes and footwear never became ragged. No woman miscarried and the sick were healed. Moses created the Cadeusus at GOD's command, to heal the ill. It is today's symbol of medical care: a staff entwined with two snakes.

We celebrate the compassion with which GOD embraces us and our best efforts, and our genuine limitations. It is a Jewish party time with choice foods, charming decorations, song and the sharing of good feelings. Our blessings extend to the world at large.

Praying for your excellent and insightful welfare, Yojeved