Can-do Emotional Strength Lessons: The Lesson Plan

B'SD

5 Kislev, 5778

I've done life-coaching work with ill people since recovering from my medical setbacks (I earned my counseling credentials before and after life-saving surgery). 

We focus on the choices that my clients can make, the resources available to them, and their need to bolster a sense of courage.

They tend to do quite well, achieving newly identified goals and increased inner strength before we complete our 6 meetings.

As I interact with people in my coaching efforts, public speaking engagements and private encounters over the years, however, I've realized that many people simply do not know how to feel courageous. 

Basic concepts about 

how to develop courage

 are missing 

from pubic awareness.

Yes, clergy of various faiths teach about emotional and spiritual strength, but the lessons are not helping all that many people. The opioid crisis around the world illustrates the reality: People find it hard or impossible to deal with emotional turmoil and physical pain.

There are can-do solutions for the average person. I've written about that before. 

Nobody has to be born impervious to unhappiness to overcome it.

I'm preparing a proposal to teach emotional fortitude in schools, business sites and other venues, in order to repair the problem as much as I can. My goal is that people will learn how to increase their emotional strength in innovative, user-friendly ways.

I welcome your thoughts about that.

What do YOU believe 
that people need to learn 

in order to be strong?

And HOW do you believe 
that courage can be taught?

You can share your ideas in the "comment" icon below this blogpost, or send them to me via giveretgolani@gmail.com.

Go ahead, grab some paper, 
jot down your ideas and 
please share them with me. 

TIA!

Buy the E-book or print edition of EMPOWER Yourself to Cope with a Medical Challenge. 

Face Your Medical Problems with Dignity. Face Your Future with Optimism.

Fill your heart and mind with self-control and fortitude.

Making Peace with the Source of Your Strength

B'SD

13 Sivan, 5777

It's been an unusual week for me. I want to pause from all  the busy-ness and share this marvelous video with you.

Read the remarks about men who built inner strength, though they struggled with their concept of GOD, in the E-book or print edition of EMPOWER Yourself to Cope with a Medical Challenge. 


Celebrate your victories. Celebrate your courage.

You're becoming extraordinary.





Face Your Medical Problems with Dignity. Face Your Future with Optimism.

Fill your heart and soul with character-building strength.

Summoning Courage and Making it WORK for You!

B'SD 

1 Nisan, 5777

You know that feeling that nobody understands your situation?

That they don't "get" your limitations because of your illness?

That some things are out of your control and you desperately need the public, including close friends and family members to understand that reality?

Hold on to that thought a minute.

It's the month for Passover/Pesakh and I'm shoulder-deep in preparing my home for the holiday. I enjoy the fun of de-cluttering, shining things up and feeling that life has fresh beginnings.

I'm also busy helping a few people who are quite ill. It's occupying an appreciable amount of my time.

I took a few minutes to catch up on the news and found a fascinating article. It's relevant to all the things I've mentioned above. 

The US beauty queen making her invisible illness visible

By Kelly-Leigh CooperBBC News

• 28 March 2017
 
• From the sectionUS & Canada

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Image copyrightALLYKATPHOTOGRAPHY

Image captionVictoria poses in an backless ball gown revealing her surgery scars

"It's not easy to stand on stage in a bikini in pageants. I have a 25-inch scar that runs down my spine.

"And people can see it... like, really see it."

Victoria Graham, a 22-year-old student from Manchester in the US state of Maryland, had an untraditional journey into the glitzy world of US beauty pageants.

She may look like any other contestant at first glance, but Victoria has Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS) - a rare genetic condition that affects her connective tissues...

Read the rest of that fascinating article by clicking on this link.

Here's the life lesson involved: The lack of public awareness undermined Victoria's ability to progress in life. So she changed the paradigm by publicizing the hard-to-realize problem. Now people can work with, not against, her.

That's courageous. And the courage is paying big dividends by fostering improvement to the woman's life.

If you're struggling with lack of awareness among the people in your life, consider how you can make some positive changes.




Need help to build your courage? Mental health practitioners recommend reading the E-book or print edition of EMPOWER Yourself to Cope with a Medical Challenge. 





Face Your Medical Problems with Dignity. Face Your Future with Optimism.

Fill your heart and soul with purpose.

How to Have FUN with Hardships: Make a Game of Them!

B'SD

24 Kislev, 5775

I wonder how many people in my actual life remember the games I played during my recovery from 2005 surgery? I'll jog your memories: 

Remember my demand that you walk into my hospital room with a new joke? 

Remember the Boo-Barbie episode, years later, that left all observers laughing until it hurt?  

Remember that you were struck by my emotional resilience? Same principle as that described in the video below. Have fun with hardship. Learn how to do that as you listen to...

How can you play your game of Super-Better?

Perhaps you can begin by naming your secret identity for one of the characters: 

Activate your Power Up. Recruit your allies. 

Find out how I did that, 
despite daunting medical news, 
this Thursday...

Read the print or E-book edition of 

Face Your Medical Problems with Dignity. Face Your Future with Optimism. 

Play games to power down your misery.

 

EMPOWERING Myself and Other People to Cope with War

B'SD


20 Tamuz, 5774

I've had several blogposts waiting to see the light of day for some time, now. I chose not to let them appear on your monitor because the lighthearted banter was not appropriate to my being under siege with the rest of Israel.

I can share medical innovations and cute stories with you at another time, GOD willing

I, and many other Israelis, have literally been running for our lives into protected shelters of some sort, as an onslaught of Hamas missiles head to civilian areas these past few weeks. 

Israel's major airport, Ben Gurion, has been a frequent target, too.

It's been hard to live normal daily routines as we dodge this and that, struggle to shop for necessities, and then prepare meals. Our sabbaths are also punctuated with sirens, hunger, and fear. We feel a wistfulness for the serenity that daily Jewish life and values, and especially the Shabbat, bring to our lives.

Southern Israel has been a Hamas (and PA) target for years. It has taken an especially brutal beating this go- 'round. I have friends in that part of the map, and know some of the soldiers there, too.

I chose not sit out the war 

thinking of merely 

my own well-being.

Last Friday I participated in a convoy of volunteers who'd shopped, prepared and delivered home-cooked foods to southern families in deep distress, and to Negev area IDF bases in need of morale-boosters for the thousands of reserve soldiers suddenly called to duty.

Fellow travelers of the car I was in watched the puffs of smoke all over the sky with me. Those puffs told us that Iron Dome was working, with GOD's supervision, to protect Israel's citizens. I deeply felt GOD's protection over us during that mission of mercy to countrymen in need. All of us did.

We took a soldier from our neighborhood all the way to his base outside Gaza, among other errands on our agenda.  Along the way we made a few stops. In the photo below he's amusing some children with magic tricks at an absorption center in southern Israel (Israel houses immigrants fleeing persecution in other countries, for free, until they adjust to their new surroundings).

We went to a dedication ceremony at Giv'at Oz V'Gaon, a new neighborhood named for the three teens murdered in cold blood last month, as they attempted to travel from their schools to their homes for Shabbat.

Jewish life is all about positive energy.

We build and help others to flourish.

We kept driving until we'd reached 

the IDF location for that soldier

traveling with us.

One of his colleagues came out 

to hoist some of that 

home-cooked food indoors.

One of our traveling companions
took this photo 

of the rest of us.

Middle East heat radiated from 
the cloudless sky.

We were in the desert, 
with no trees to speak of. 

Young and newly planted saplings,
planted by Israeli Jews,

dotted the area.

Here's a picture of my arm 
reaching from the car 

as I handed out treats to 
a few hot, tired soldiers 

thrilled to meet us at one of 
the several IDF bases we visited.

Yes, indeed, we had traveled that close to the action, 

to do what we could to keep up morale and smiles on.

Wondering how I kept my courage up without faltering in the face of frightening odds?

I've had past practice at overcoming challenges. 

I made choices and took actions that were quite difficult to do, at first. But as I realized that my life could continue with all that, I did all that again and again.

You can learn all about those empowering techniques, and use them yourself, after you read

Buy the E-book or print edition of EMPOWER Yourself to Cope with a Medical Challenge. 

Face Your Medical Problems with Dignity. Face Your Future with Optimism. 

You have a medical or mental health war to win, to improve your life. Fight fear with practical, can-do thoughts and actions.


 

Hear Helen Keller Overcome a Disability

B'SD

13 Tamuz, 5773

As we slog through the daily grind and the frustrations of our medical, mental health or disability issues, we somehow conclude that nobody had it as bad as we do. 

We believe that it is impossible to overcome this or that problem.

At times we are blessed with insight or some inspiration to meet difficult goals. Here's one example. Listen in as Helen Keller overcomes muteness! 

Think that was a fluke? Listen to this

Ready to innovate your recovery and coping skills? Find more inspiration in doctor-recommended

Buy the E-book or print edition to EMPOWER Yourself to Cope with a Medical (or Disability) Challenge. 

Face Your Medical Problems with Dignity. Face Your Future with Optimism. 

Fight fear with inspiration. And be sure to thank the Anne Sullivans in your life.


 

Here's How Crying Over a Crisis Can Lead to Solutions!

B'SD

25 Nisan, 5773

Back in 2004, a neighbor scolded me for crying at my new brain tumor diagnosis (the scenario implied imminent death, the failure of medical personnel to notify me of the tumor for over 1.5 years when it could have been removed in an outpatient procedure, the need to identify and to locate a brain surgeon able to remove it without killing me in the process 1.5 years later etc) because "GOD only gives us what we can take." 

I responded "It's MY Crisis and I'll cry if I need to!"

Then I chose to face the future with dignity, empowering myself to beat the odds.

GOD obviously said an "Amen." 

But the comment that the woman had uttered could have destroyed many other people frightened of their circumstances.

Her one-upsmanship words came from fear, and a sense of relief that she wasn't facing her own mortality. Such people actually want someone ill to withdraw from society. That soothes cowardly psyches.

Keep the courageous spirit and sense of humor going by letting your tears fall freely. 

Once you've felt a bit of relief from that, you'll be better able to see the future and to face it with creativity, an open-mindedness to solutions you can now discover and consider. 

If you need help to develop that courage, creativity, sense of humor - even to identify necessary healing strategies and ways to afford them, read

 

A medical crisis - you'd cry too, if it happened to you. Use your tissues and handkerchiefs with my blessings borne of experience. GOD gives you Permission to Weep. And you can say that to any critics after explaining that "It's MY Crisis! And I'll Cry if I Need To."

 
Buy the E-book or print edition today for a brighter holiday season: Click on the words EMPOWER Yourself to Cope with a Medical Challenge. 

Face Your Medical Problems with Dignity. Face Your Future with Optimism. 

Face down the fear, and come out a winner!


 

Born for Greatness!

B'SD


21 Adar 5772


The attacks on Israel have not stopped. I have spent significant amounts of time speaking with affected people, doing what I can to help them to calm down, to cope, and to cry as necessary.


Tears, trembling and sadness have their place in promoting mental/emotional health. As trauma therapist Miriam Maslin teaches, "Wisdom often means letting go of what was in order to make room for what needs to be."


A person who has been traumatized needs the freedom to express their sorrow, their fears, their sense of betrayal, their grief, their loss and everything else on their mind and heavy heart. That helps them to let go of the trauma, to some degree, then to get beyond it to a measure of peace and increasing productivity.


It is a cruelty to tell someone "Stop shaking like that," or to "Stop crying! Get over it already."


Trembling and crying serve some coping purposes: 


1) To alert observers to a perceived trauma so that they  can provide needed compassion and assistance. YOUR "it's not a trauma" interpretation of someone else's trauma is not necessarily relevant to the sufferer. In that person's mind and heavy heart, something terrible has happened. 


2) To quite literally help the suffering person to release their fear, shock, and other negative reactions, so that they can return to a relatively calm state again.


Trembling and tears are specific signs of emotional turmoil. The person trembling and/or crying needs compassion, not dismissive remarks and behaviors.


There is significant psychological evidence of the above. It is presented in case studies and other materials within the mental health world.


There is also significant evidence that people who can envision themselves overcoming problems do overcome those issues.


If you want to consider the fact that you were born to rise above your problems, born for greatness, this tune just might make you smile with wonder and happiness: Born for Greatness!

Want to know how BIG a part of the awe-inspiring universe YOU are? Click on http://vimeo.com/38101676

If you know of a female who needs extra encouragement to achieve her potential, show her this video









Want more inspiration to overcome a setback? Read EMPOWER Yourself to Cope with a Medical Challenge.

Face Your Medical Problems with Dignity.
Face Your Future with Optimism.

What Would You Do if YOU Were Brave?

B'SD


7 Adar 5772


Today's the anniversary of Moses' birthday and death. You just know I had something special coming up for the occasion ;^ D


Consider what a captive Jewish child - taken from mommy, raised in the palace of an oligarch dedicated to enslaving, then wiping out the nascent Jewish people, and a stutterer - could accomplish against BIG odds.


Watch this and take on your world!







Go ahead, think of the possibilities and see what it does for you. BE the Possible YOU!




Need ideas to accomplish that despite your illness or disability? Find some in EMPOWER Yourself to Cope with a Medical Challenge. Buy it at Booklocker. 


Face Your Medical Problems with Dignity.
Face Your Future with Optimism.

How to Face Illness with Courage, Humor and Dignity

B'SD


23 Tevet 5772


I have much to share with you, today. First is this lovely message from the administrator for the Association of Americans and Canadians in Israel (AACI) Netanya location where I interacted with audience members this past Sunday. She responds to my thank you remarks for letting me appear on her stage with the words:


On Wed, Jan 18, 2012 at 10:25 AM, Rachel Rubin Hirsch of Netanyaaaci.org.il wrote:

Thank you- it us who should be giving  you the thanks.

We really appreciate you making the effort to come through and talk to us.

I will pass your details on to our Jerusalem and Tel Aviv offices – your talk is excellent and I hope they will get back to you and arrange a program with you.

Wishing you all the very best. Regards,

Rachel

Secondly, I want to share a though-provoking link to a website about a husband and wife struggling to overcome her illness: http://embraceisrael.com/crossing-the-yarden-i-have-sat-through-many-a-college-and-graduate-course-in-religion-and-philosophy-and-have-never-really-understood-what-religion-is-all-about-until-i-saw-you-and-your-deeds/

Not all of us are this humorous, dignified or courageous about illness. Some of us simply weep. That's normal, at times. As EMPOWER Yourself to Cope with a Medical Challenge and I teach our readers, "A medical crisis - you'd cry too, if it happened to you. Use your tissues and handkerchiefs with my blessings borne of experience. GOD gives you Permission to Weep. And you can say that to any critics after explaining that "It's MY Crisis! And I'll Cry if I Need To."




Build YOUR inner strengths with the E-book or print edition today: Click on the words EMPOWER Yourself to Cope with a Medical Challenge. 


Face Your Medical Problems with Dignity.
Face Your Future with Optimism.